The Fucarwes of the Gunnison Black Canyon

Written by admin. Posted in 2010 Stories From the Road

” You did what?”

“Yeah me and the ol lady were stoned out of our minds screwing in the car at the Bay Bridge Park and a cop knocks on the window and said I needed to move my car”

“Wow, you wouldn’t get by with that today, they would throw in you jail forever.”

“That isn’t all, when I moved the car, somehow I went the wrong way on the Bay Bridge and they had to shut down traffic in both directions, then the cops lead us all the way around until I was going the right way.”

“Holy shit Bill, you one lucky dude!”

“I know I am. Very lucky, I am glad those drug induced days are gone, I am lucky to be alive, lucky I have kids and a wife who still love me.  I’m good now.”

Bill came from Pennsylvania in the 70’s, he ran out of bus ticket near Green River Utah but still had some peyote buttons left and somehow landed a good job and settled in Moab. Name a drug, Bill has done it, name a bad trip and he has been there. An addictive personality and he knows it. With the help of Preacher Dick, a loving family and good friends he is a survivor. His vice now is church and riding motorcycles way to hard and fast. I nicknamed him Speedracer Bill the first day. He can’t take off slow, ride slow or be in the back and he rides everyday! Bill is now part of the Fucarwe tribe.

“What the hell?”

“What’s up Mitch?”

“There is a tampon in my windshield bag where I keep my sunglasses!”

” You might need that later!” Jeff said as the rest of us rolled on the ground laughing.

Mitch’s scooter was broke down, so he borrowed his wife’s Indian for the ride. His wife Cindy owns and runs Lone Rider Motorcycle Parts in Moab and had to stay home and run the shop while Mitch was out playing, but she got even with him. Never doubt a Fucarwe though, Mitch made good use of the Tampon. Bill was having flashbacks though thinking it was a big doobie!

I normally like to ride alone, but figured the chance to ride the Gunnison Black Canyon with Jeff and Mitch would be a good way to start this years trip. I have ridden part of the black canyon before but had never ridden the entire loop. It is now my number 1 motorcycle road in Colorado. The road is good, lots of curves, some straights, uphill, downhill, loop to loops and a few butterfly hills all with scenery that can’t be matched.

There are two sects to the Fucarwes, there is the whofucarwes

And then there are the wherefucarwes

And even though we didn’t know where we were or who we were we still had to eat. Based on fellow member Danny’s recommendation we ended up at Zacks in Hotchkiss for lunch. I would never had found it on my own and even though some of the group had been there before, they still tried to go past it. Danny guided us to the place with his smell of the bbq ribs.

For 4 bucks, two smoked chopped beef sandwiches with chips and a coke.

“Where the hell did Randy go?”

“He wanted a Corona, they didn’t have any limes and he refused to drink one without a lime, so he went to the store.”

They now have limes at Zacks!

On the way to Hotchkiss we went through Crawford, but I never did see Joe Cocker. We eventually ended up back at Montrose but only after Dave took us on a shortcut through orchards and dead man curves to go around the road construction on the main highway. This part of the ride might have just been my favorite. Once back in Montrose, we stopped at the Harley Davidson Dealership where there was a bike show, a car show, live band and more to drink. What a great day and largely because of this man Kent!

I had a great time, a long day and some new friendships. I think I could live in Montrose! My new friends, Kent, Dave, Randy, Danny, Val, Bill.

Thanks Guys! I haven’t laughed that much in a long time!

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Comments (6)

  • singstothehorse


    Bill is warrior’s warrior! man what a story, what a Bunch of stories & life lived, eh? Wanted to be there on the big bridge to see that experience!! closing the traffic down, MAN OH MAN lol

    Hope Mitch didn’t get any ‘toxic shock’ from that doobie !! Sounds like Bill may have tho…. HA HA HA

    I love how you write Two Feathers! the pictures & your words show a most excellent day of riding & friendship! Good days all around!! What a great bunch of guys you rode with!


  • Waving Hands


    This is a great read. I can stay at work and get paid and still go on vacation. Kinda like the 60’s when you could take a trip and never leave the farm. Keep it up and thanks for taking us along.


  • Curious Badger


    Your buddy Speedracer Bill sounds like the kind of guy who does everything big. It reminds me of the Guns and Roses verse…”I used ta do a little but a little wouldn’t do
    So the little got more and more, I just keep tryin’ ta get a little better, Said the little better than before.”

    I can identify man.


  • Swiftwater


    Used to be a half blooded fucarwethinkin, but was told to leave the tribe when I thought I should try to mature. Some days, I think I should throw it all in without knowing where fucarwegoing? You show the non-believers that a good time and good friends are just around the next bend in the trail. Ride on Two Feathers – destiny awaits.


  • Warrior Stripes


    Hilarious entry! Singstothehorse…. excellent “toxic shock” comment. Quite the gang you have there; glad you had so much fun!


  • Jerry Wright


    RANDY used to belong to the whothefuciam but now I guess he has found his calling.


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